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Know why? Because someone is gonna touch me today!! Lee's Oriental Massage Private Bath and Spa is a dead giveaway that you're about to walk in to a massage parlor where yes, sex is literally on the table.

Picture a wild animal walking into a rave—that's your inspiration for the entire time you're at the parlor.

Look around aimlessly—the walls, the ceiling, the floor, anything but the girls working. When you're finally approached and asked if you want a massage , you should simply grunt, nod your head, and continue to look around.

Sometimes you'll be asked if you have ever been to a massage parlor before, in which case you should say no and don't really know how this works.

You will be asked how long you want the massage to be, and the secret here is to be as frugal as possible.

Pick the lowest price, because that's just the money that goes to the owner pimp ; the girls make money from tips. Don't try to be suggestive at this point, because you're just going to come off looking like an idiot, and God forbid the escort doesn't respect you.

When the girl leads you to the room, she'll tell you she needs to go get ready and you should undress and lay down.

Take off everything except your boxers and lay face-down and wait for the girl to come back. Inner Voice : Wow, this place is disgusting, why is the air so damp?

Do I want to know? Penis : Alright, I see ladies. Lots of cleavage too, I'm getting up for this. Inner Voice : Cool it, act nonchalant, we're being approached.

Whore : Hey there, are you interested in a massage? You : Um…yeah sure. I'll just take the half hour massage, what does that include?

Whore : It includes a massage…that's all we do here, is give massages. Penis : Giggidy! This is the most important part of the procedure. When the girl walks in, you should be relaxed; the fact that you're face down should hide your raging erection caused by the low-cut top she is wearing.

As she starts giving you the most half-assed back massage ever, start the small talk with her. Talk about where she's from, where you're from, really anything other than her milking your cock.

She should pick up on the fact that you really are a rookie at this and will go about explaining the price to you, probably with some sort of happy ending code words.

Inner Voice : Good question, I'm getting tired of listening to her talk about her haircut. Whore : So, do you want me to touch…down there? Penis : Jackpot!

Ask her to give you a verbal menu, how much everything costs and what you get for the price. At this point she'll either encourage you to get more money or simply do the job right there because of the rapport you guys have built up.

Most likely, though, she'll want more money. Tell her you're broke and make up another story about how your pet just died or you just sent all of your money to a Nigerian prince.

If this fails immediately make sure you display the twenty dollar bill. Escorts aren't like normal humans because their senses are trained to recognize the sight and smell of money and they become physically stimulated by it, causing them to throw caution to the wind.

In short, it's like fucking opium to them. She'll succumb eventually and will begin to work her magic.

If she doesn't mind the pay cut, you may be able to talk her into taking off her top, allowing you to fondle her while she fondles you.

What kind of crimes are going on her This is their way of saying "If you want us to touch your dick, please wash it first. I like how their "No sexual services" sign can easily be covered up with a towel or something if the girl thinks the customer might be shy to ask about "extras".

I should have known. But all I could think was, "How can you massage all day long in such high heels and without a bra on young lady?

Massive red flag if there are tissues in the room. The talc, I'm not really sure what's going on there. If you know please fill me in.

Provides a better grip perhaps?? So despite the litany of warning signs I still let this chick "massage" me. It was clear she did not know how to massage after about 10 minutes.

For the first time ever in a one hour massage I had to ask "How much time is left? If I hadn't paid up front I would have walked out, another reason why they get you to pay up front.

So I made her do my feet for the last 30 minutes. I wouldn't normally demand this in a massage but thought she's probably used to handling much gnarlier things so wouldn't mind.

So there you have it.

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She also said most people do the job "of their own free will" but not out of want, they do it for the money. Thai massage parlours are increasingly offering a "bare-back" service, which are sexual acts performed without a condom.

Countless websites advertise exactly where customers can get this service in Australia. The websites even list reviews of the women who work there.

But it's not just the customers encouraging it - the websites even advertise bareback services. She cried and didn't know what to do.

The client didn't care about her at all," Joy told SBS in regards to a friend she knows that has been abused. As local councils and police within each state announce "crackdown" plans on Australia's sex industry, they're having to become increasingly crafty in their methods.

In an interview with The Gold Coast Bulletin last month, a senior police officer said the crackdown on massage parlours hadn't happened "probably because of lack of will".

The Gold Coast, the centre of Queensland's party and night-life scene, has one of the highest numbers of illegal massage parlours in Australia. One of the last big citywide raids on the illegal sex trade was in when police raided 50 shops suspected of fronting as therapeutic Asian massage parlours.

And while it's often difficult to prove whether or not sex is happening at the venue, it is easy to check visas - which many workers are in violation of.

We've seen illegal dumping or improper use of firearms or even sex trafficking and workers living in slave-like conditions," Mr Jarvis said.

Lynswood has been in the business of brothel busting for almost 15 years, and while Mr Jarvis doesn't engage in the busting himself, his firm looks into everything from venues set up without council approval to completely legal ones that might be staying open past approved operating hours.

Mr Jarvis said they see the work as "entirely reasonable and necessary" and if brothels "weren't doing anything wrong, we wouldn't have to do it". Metacritic Reviews.

Photo Gallery. Trailers and Videos. Crazy Credits. Alternate Versions. Rate This. Three beautiful masseurs are committed to their upstanding clients and their jobs.

But their new manager is trying to run an honest business. Will he be able to stop the girls from giving their customers a little something extra?

Director: Soo Lyu. Writers: Soo Lyu original screenplay , Edward Stanulis original screenplay. Added to Watchlist. Everything New on Netflix in October.

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Conrad Kira Clavell Cindy Tara Spencer-Nairn Betty Lindy Booth Lea Richard Zeppieri Lawrence Michael Cram Justin Anthony Lemke Henry Susanne Sutchy April Rafael Petardi Bob as Pascal Petardi Angelo Tsarouchas I laid down on the table, and a forty year old woman with a thong sticking out of her jeans came into the room.

I told her my back was killing me. She proceeded to start prodding at it like she was kneading dirty Play-Doh. It felt horrible. I just got up and left.

The woman at the front desk told me how much money I owed, something like sixty dollars. This could probably get you killed in an actual whore house, but massage parlors are kind of a weird hybrid.

There are apparently never dudes around. I called my friend and told him I needed another place. He pointed me just down the street.

Next to a Cuban restaurant and a laundromat sat this weird castle door, no sign, nothing. I rang a buzzer, and the door popped open.

An Asian woman greeted me when I walked into the lobby. She showed me into a room and I laid down.

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